I was inspired to blog about this topic from — of all things — a Champion sportswear ad that posed the question and went on to say, “The summit awaits each of us — and the symbolism of Mount Everest, the highest peak in the world, can help us achieve our own goals and dreams.”
I see their “Everest” on the faces of people who are struggling through a divorce, who have been climbing a long ascent with few resources and no summit in sight. They are physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially exhausted and overwhelmed. Just like a person climbing Everest, every step is a monumental effort, and they are constantly battling fatigue, depression, limited resources, isolation, and defeat. Some people never make it to the “summit” of divorce — they never experience the relief of closure, resolution, and peaceful acceptance.
Recently, a friend told me about a couple who were about to appear for another (their 8th in 10 years) post-decree hearing in Court, this time regarding parenting time. These two have not been able to attain their summit in the traditional divorce model. Years (many years) after their divorce, they are still struggling to reach the “top” or at least the end of their climb, but — like many who attempt Everest — they ran out of tools long ago. The only resource left to them was their “position,” which rarely serves the needs of the children or parents. Here were two people that — individually — have so many strengths and talents. But together, they are unable to climb that last mile to the summit of closure and resolution, so they just keep on trudging. Their children grow older and grow up, but they have been unable to put aside old hurts and tit-for-tats so they cannot share the joy of their shared family connection.
I was saddened by the story, but also re-inspired to reach out to couples contemplating divorce through my own Everest — changing divorce one family at a time. Through my practice philosophy, a concentrated effort to eliminate adversarial relationships, the 5 Day Divorce Retreat, and ongoing training in conflict resolution, my “Everest” has taken years to develop and I am starting to see the view from the top! If conflict resolution intervention had been available to this couple, their path would have been much different because they would have been supported — legally, financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually — in making it to their own personal summit. If you or someone you know is thinking about divorce, I encourage you to check out our website for rational, peaceful alternatives.
Choose Peace (it climbs higher)